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Saturday, January 28, 2012

TACTIC'S IMPOSED ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS IN N.H.

There are several media sources that covered the results of N.H. HB 1608 a bill that proposed weakening an already disturbingly weak "police" response to the protection of Domestic Violence Victims:

TACTICS DIMINISHING
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS RIGHT’S IN THE LEGISLATIVE ARENA

WMUR - Basic coverage
http://www.wmur.com/news/30295720/detail.html

Boston - Meaningful coverage by the Associated Press "Norma Love"
http://www.boston.com/news/local/new_hampshire/articles/2012/01/25/father_of_slain_nh_woman_to_testify_on_nh_bill/

The Frisky review by "Jessica Wakeman" is Snark at its best.
http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-01-27/new-hampshire-considering-reversal-of-domestic-violence-laws/

To check the status and changes to this bill see: http://e-lobbyist.com/gaits/text/507561

Part of this Bill had language that indicated that if the officer had not witnessed the crime, it would require police to get a warrant before arresting someone on a domestic violence charge and consequently other crimes. The question to State Rep. Reilly of Grafton N.H. is: "Really, how many times are police, anywhere in this world, present for the crimes that occur?" It appears he is not answering questions and did not show up to hearings at the state house, on the matter he placed before the committee.

COURT ROOM TACTICS
UTILIZED BY ABUSERS TO CONTROL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS

The domestic violence batter wants control; and that control can take many forms; from physical sometimes apparent beatings to demoralizing verbal abuse and threats. Another form is this: once the victim takes measures to end the abuse and get a divorce the abuser than takes their spouse to court on frivolous charges repetitively, to gain custody of the child(ren) which gives the batter further control over his victim that he feels he lost when she left him.

The abuser at this point, then focuses his negative attention toward the Child(ren) and uses them to intentionally interfere with the custodial time of the victim, it starts slowly but progressively by not bringing children back on time, not paying child support, making false allegations against the victim; so much so, that the victim can hardly keep up with watching her back, trying to work, be a mother and move forward - due to the numerous charges levied against them; because division of assets is typically frozen at this stage and the abuser has control of the money, it leaves victims without the resources to combat the negative campaign levied against them.

The results of reviewing many cases in the N.H. system, show that an abuser can and does intentionally interfere in the parent/child relationship as a form of controlling his victim, by gaining custody of them.

N.H. RSA 461:A, supports continuing contact and shared responsibilities between Mothers and Fathers in a divorce. I think everyone can agree that every child desires to know the source of his being, to be connected to that source, and will go to great lengths to maintain that connection.  Children always seek the care, compassion and nurture of their parents, and feel a great loss when that connection is hindered or broken.

When the contact between a parent and child is threatened, the following government study gives us an important clue as to the children's often sudden resistance to spending time with the victim when the victim is a woman:

A study completed by the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, US Children’s Bureau (2006), and (ironically) titledThe Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children”
 
2.1 The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes
One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is indirect—fathers influence their children in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. A father who has a good relationship with the mother of their children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with their children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier. ... One of the most important benefits of a positive relationship between mother and father, ... Fathers who treat the mothers of their children with respect and deal with conflict within the relationship in an adult and appropriate manner are more likely to have boys who understand how they are to treat women and who are less likely to act in an aggressive fashion toward females. Girls with involved, respectful fathers see how they should expect men to treat them and are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships. In contrast, research has shown that husbands who display anger, show contempt for, or who stonewall their wives (i.e., "the silent treatment") are more likely to have children who are anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial. 8

The abuser would have everyone believe that the child (ren) have become this way of his/her own "free will" that it is the Child's choice to treat their mother in a dismissive or resistant manner. The Reality is, the child has been immersed in the father's actions, behaviors, and choices regarding their mother, and has likely internalized these negative messages to reflect his/her father, possibly for emotional safety.

Children take their cues about how they "should" act, think or feel from the people who have the greatest influence in their lives; as such, if the Father demonstrated his ability to view visits with the Mother positively, the child's behavior would reflect that and vice versa.

Instead, it is at this point that the Child’s behavior is suggestive of fear, threatening and intimidation.  Just as children can be unduly influenced by negative attitudes and beliefs, they are even quicker to internalize such messages if they are also exposed to negative consequences for desiring something contrary to the "undue influencer's" wishes. Taking away special toys, cherished pets or reminders of happy times are all ways in which children can be coerced, and are methods that the abuser will engage in with the purpose of gaining the child's cooperation in resisting connection with the victim of these acts.  For more information on persuasion see: https://webspace.utexas.edu/emc597/persuasion.html .

We know children wish to be connected to the estranged parent when they express loss over the belief that the estranged parent "gave up custody" of him/her.  If the child did not care whether or not he/she saw the target parent, the idea that the target parent so readily gave up custody of him - as has been communicated to them by some unknown party - would be of little consequence to them.   to see more click yes here





Monday, January 16, 2012

N.H. Due Process News

State Representative Paul Ingrebretson brings back integreity to the Redress of Greivance Committee as shown in two recent moves on his part:

1) He has finally addressed State Representative Horrigan’s actions in his blog against petitioners that are bringing their complaints to the committee's attention.


2) HOUSE BILL415AN ACT relative to access to abuse and neglect investigation records pending a child custody dispute. http://e-lobbyist.com/gaits/text/506708 for full text.

SPONSORS: Rep. Ingbretson, Graf 5
COMMITTEE: Children and Family Law
1. Department of Health and Human Services; Access to Case Records. Amend RSA 170-G:8-a, II(a)(2) to read as follows:

(2) The parent of the child named in the case record, as defined in RSA 169-C:3, XXI; provided that, the case record and any third party records in the possession of the department shall be provided to the parent if, in a proceeding under RSA 461-A, the parent’s access to his or her children has been restricted or limited as the result of an investigation of abuse or neglect under RSA 169-C.
The word out on this bill is that the Child and Family Law Committee recommended killing this bill 12-1; guaranteeing that a parent accused of wrong doing before the Family Courts would not in all cases have access to all evidence for and against them, including third party evidence in the possession of state agencies; evidence based on the subjective, frequently abusive, and arbitrarily applied "best interests of the child" as determined by an often untrained inexperienced overzealous Child Protection worker.

HB 415 was brought in by Representative Ingrebretson last year because, several cases brought to his attention showed parents had been denied access to the evidence against them.
To See More click yes...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

12th Annual Fairy Tale Festival, Nashua, NH July 21, 2012

Catch the SummerFun Wave!!!
Warmest greetings and Happy Holidays! It's that time of year again, when I am looking for acts, confirming table reservations for the 12th Annual Fairy Tale Festival, and inviting you all to attend this literacy event coming to life on July 21, 2012 from 10am to 1pm; at Greeley Park, 100 Concord Street, Nashua, NH., 03064. It is completely free to the families that attend and every child goes home with a free book about the current years theme, compete in the days "quest" to seek information for free drawings to win gifts from numerous businesses promoting children's ability to read; and on and off stage interactive activities with a variety of story book characters.
I am posting this update and request to re-introduce you to the SummerFun Program operated by the Nashua Parks & Recreation Department.Every season this national award winning program holds over 70 free family concerts and events for residents of Nashua and the surrounding towns. All events are geared towards families and children, in particular, and last season drew over 25,000 people.
SummerFun has been providing these events for over 40 years and every year participation increases. In these continued difficult economic times, your participation will ensure this program continues to thrive and entertain thousands of children. To illustrate the significance of this program, our annual Fairy Tale Festival draws close to 5,000 people, who come from as far away as Vermont and Massachusetts. Participants plan their vacations around this event and shorten vacations in order to attend this incredible literacy spectacle, where every child receives a free book based on that year’s theme! This year we are going to go around the world in 180 minutes; so your act needs to be related to any country or any mode of travel. We will be traveling west and there is no telling what we will see or the mayhem we may encounter along the way... for a sneak peek, it starts with A Magic Portal to... and see more developments here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Nashua-NH-Fairy-Tale-Festival/121088797919285

In addition to helping create such a significant community and family event, your participation includes several marketing advantages for your organization; acts, table sponsors (no charge they must provide a free activity) are included in the program description with company names, a program with every business' participation goes around the park the day of the show, and a table to promote your business at the Fairy Tale Festival.



I would like to thank you and/or your organization for sharing your valuable time in reviewing this request. We are always looking for community leaders and volunteers to serve on our SummerFun Committee and to become more familiar with our programs and take part in their development. I encourage you to call me directly at (603) 566-8318 or Tom Dwane at (603) 589-3364 if you have any questions or would like additional information on sponsorships or volunteering.

Thank you in advance for considering participating and remember we always book up fast for the Fairy Tale Festival so please let me know as soon as possible if you are reserving a table, your table number choice map can be found here: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0ByTPLCn0VjpSYTNkODBmZTgtOTBkNi00ZDU0LWEwM2ItNzRkZWU0NjRlNjYx and if your group is participating in the show, let me know how many 5 -10 minute segments you would like and the country or type of travel it represents or story book character of any given country. Again, I thank you and am looking forward to another outstanding year!!

Happy New Year,


Denise-Marie McIntosh

Head Fairy/Director Fairy Tale Festival
SummerFun Member since 2007

DMVC Productions

Organizing Results


Monday, January 9, 2012

MOJO Declaration of Action for 2012 Lies in Defiance

The power of 2012 lies in defiance to accomplish the securing of children and family rights. If I were to give vent to the pain of having a child alienated from a parent, I may only be perceived as expelling my pent up wrath as a women allegedly scorned. This is typical of a society consumed by sex scandals and cover-ups such as those at Penn State and the Citadel, the pedophile priest cover-up through the Popes of the Catholic Church, the child pornography rings and the Omaha NE pedophile scheme, along with the likes of Mark Hurd, Arnold Schwarenegger, and sadly the 20/20 coverage of the true Native Americans left behind.  They all show the diminished value placed on children, families and women.  These are just a few of the disturbing highlights from 2011.

If, I and others did give vent to the injustices we faced, we might frighten even you; the reality is we are taking the highroad just as the women’s rights movement did in the 1800’s to pursue the right to vote.
What’s facing our nation now is the theory that the Department of Children Youth and Families (DCYF) is acting in the nation’s children’s best interest, it is false. 

to continued click yes.